We are not ok. But we will be. We have not recovered from the shockwaves of last Tuesday. The ground has yet to settle. The brain is not yet fully back on board. The body needs to shake, wail, and account for the wreckage.
May we give ourselves a second.
Recently we released Black Moon Lilith in the CHANI app. Originally we were going to do so in July, but we felt that she was more needed in the fall. We wanted to make sure that she was available to help us through this moment (just in case of this worst-case scenario — gestures broadly). To remind us of our power. To affirm our rage in the face of injustice. To have a context to place ourselves within.
Lilith, first wife of Adam. Lilith, who was told her place was beneath her husband. Lilith, who chose self-imposed exile over living a life with a man who didn’t see her as his equal. Lilith, who upon realizing God was in on this, uttered the Holy One’s ineffable name and left the Garden of Eden for good.
Lilith, not of The Father, but for her freedom.
Lilith ends up in a cave in the desert, a place of meditation if you will. Desolate. Barren. Beautiful. The desert was once the floor of the ocean. And it’s here, at the bottom where we find ourselves.
It’s important, I think, to take this time to appreciate the depths we have descended to. Bottoming out, as they say in many a recovery circle, is a gift. There’s nowhere else to go. But up. Rebuilding ourselves one breath, one primal scream, and one brick at a time. Without losing the depth.
I believe that it is Lilith who returns to the Garden of Eden as the snake that tempts Eve with the apple in the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Lilith whispers to us through the ages, “Leave this place. It doesn’t know you. It doesn’t want you in your entirety. It seeks only to diminish you. Bite the apple. Incorporate this wisdom. Leave here and discover who you really are.”
This is how we save each other, and in turn, save ourselves.
We are far, far from our rebirth, but that is not the point of this moment. This moment is for feeling our way through. Belly to the earth, snakelike at the bottom of the ocean. Tending to our wounds, gathering with our loved ones, and dreaming of what fullness could feel like. This moment is for remembering that we are part of a lineage of resistance and recreation that stretches back to and far beyond ideas of supremacy and domination. Lilith is older than god, than gardens, than time.
So are you.
If, at any time you forget this week, please remember that we need you. Your wildness, your energy, your flaws, and your friendship. If at any time this week you forget, please re-read these words and remember that there are countless people who have gone before you, who go alongside you, and who reach back from the future ready to guide, protect, and encourage you forward.
I’ll try to do the same.
Never miss a memo.
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The post In Chani’s words | November 11th, 2024: Give yourself this moment appeared first on Chani Nicholas.
